It’s getting busy around these parts!
I’m still dating which requires a fair amount of energy and time. It’s weird to still be in the formal/getting-to-know-you dating stage. It’s just so different than the rest of the relationship experience. Far more stressful.
This week I am starting a remote/online life coaching thing. I’m not sure how much I’ll talk about it, but who knows. I may chose to make my thoughts public down the road. It involves a weekly conference call and daily “exercises”. I’m interested to see the results. I’m still doing weekly sessions with my personal therapist as well. It’s been been a thought provoking journey and I’m glad I’ve stuck with it.
This weekend I will be in Vegas with about 20 of my friends and family 
It should be a nice relaxing weekend.
I haven’t been to yoga in a couple weeks due to holidays, travel, and being sick ALL this past week. It just seems to be a really bad cold, not the flu, but I do not recall the last time I’ve had a cold like this. It was a good kick in the butt to get back on my vitamins and other healthful routines but has done nothing for my attempts to lose a few pounds before going to Paris in April. Oh well, I’ll get back on that when I’m better. The nice thing about yoga is I can’t “fall behind” really.
And next week, after I get back from Vegas, I start my weekly pole dancing class! I’m still very excited about that!
My schedule ends up that I only have one week night free each week and then the weekends. I’ve been doing a decent job loading up weekends with dates or girls nights though
After Paris in April I have new baby birds (chicks, ducklings, goslings, and turkeys!) showing up. I need to think about garden prep soon too. The baby birds will have me grounded for a couple months at least though, but I think I will have done enough travel by then though.
Oh! I used some frequent flier miles for my Paris trip, as I had been planning on doing, BUT I still have enough miles left for ANOTHER international flight. I’m thrilled! I have to think about where I might want to go late this year or early next year (and save up some extra cash for it).
I bought a new bow over the New Year and I’m pretty excited about it. I need to make time to practice regularly at home (when I’m no longer sick) and I still really want to try to find a league. I also hope to make it to the mountains for snowboarding at least *once* this season. I need to get on that too.
When I started dating again recently I didn’t realize exactly how out of it I was. I mean I dated from ages 15 to 30, it’s not like I’m lacking practice or even that far out of touch, but yea… Its been interesting!
Some things I’ve learned:
Many people that contact you won’t carry on a conversation past the first day. I’m not sure if this is because they are just feeling lonely or maybe they aren’t really available to be dating, but about 50% of the guys that initiate a conversation will be very talkative for a day or two and then just stop. I don’t think this is because they’ve had some epiphany about me that turns them away. Polling my other friends using online dating it seems to be common for both genders.
Don’t invite someone to your house unless you are planning on sleeping with them. This disappoints me a little but it seems to be the common assumption that if you invite someone to your home that you are implying that’s where things are going. I don’t invite a first date to my house to begin with, but I do feel like hanging out in a low pressure environment is conducive to getting to know someone.
People make up weird excuses for turning someone down because it’s “easier” than saying “hey this isn’t working for me”. The best one to date was being told that *I* wasn’t interested in *them* as a reason for why they didn’t want to continue talking. This is not the date you are looking for *hand wave*
Things I’ve learned about myself, or kind of my “guidelines”. Some of these are developed with the feedback of friends as well:
I’m not going to initiate contact the majority of the time. Call it the “He’s just not in to you” approach, but I’m old fashioned that way. If you “wink” or “nudge” me but can’t bring yourself to send a simple message, I’m not going to respond.
If you are only looking for women your age and younger, I’m probably not going to respond.
I have pictures on my profile don’t ask for more. I’m not saving a topless shot for that awesome guy that asked for more pictures.
I want to get to know you online a bit first before I go meet a complete stranger at a bar or coffee shop. I guess this frustrates some people, but uhm, yea. I think it speaks for itself really.
I’m not going to kiss you and I don’t expect you to try to kiss me on a first date unless it’s incredibly exceptional. A kiss is not a requirement and a date is not a promise.
It goes with out saying after the previous item, but I’m not going to sleep with you on the first date… or the second… or probably the third or fourth.
I would like you to pay for dinner or assume you are going to. If I offer to split it you can take me up on it, but you should at least be planning on paying. I can respect being on a budget, and I’m not out for a free meal, but this is back to the old fashioned bit. It’s less about the money and more about the gesture.
If you are unemployed or have no transportation (doesn’t have to be a car!) I’m not interested. Get yourself sorted out first. We are in our mid-30′s for goodness sake!
I can’t do dates consecutive nights in a row. It just far exceeds my capacity as an introvert.
Ahhh, the joys of being single… If only someone could make it easier…
35! I’m no where that I thought I would be at this milestone, but I really have no complaints. Well I do, but what good would complaining about them do at this point, and they aren’t really complaints about where I am at
I have a great job doing something that I’m passionate enough about that some times it drives me crazy, and with people I like well enough to want to talk to outside of the office even. I’m incredibly fortunate to be able to own my own home and be living a lifestyle that brings me endless amounts of happiness. I have the luxury to travel, buy frivolous things, spoil others, and not have to stress money most of the time. I have amazing friends and family that love me and remind me how wonderful and available they are through their actions, not just words. I have the unconditional love, companionship, and protection of my little posse of fur babies. I have the ability to give love and be loved. I continue to feel utterly and completely fortunate, or blessed for lack of a better word. I recognize all the wonderfulness in my life on a near daily basis. I frequently find myself smiling at the world around me and feeling like I am in on some secret that not everyone gets (chooses?) to see.
I think all of this often, but tend to keep it to myself a bit I guess. I know the perpetual optimist can be tedious, and hell I do still have my moments from time to time.
Maybe it’s just age and maturity, but I feel a lot more comfortable with myself and my situation than I ever expected I would. Sure my ideal is still to have a honest, faithful, loving spouse that I can share a family with, but I think those things will work themselves out in time.
I made no plans for today and I’m a little excited about it. My therapist gave me my birthday off even. I have champagne in the fridge and plan on going to the florist to get some beautiful roses (well when it’s actually waking hours). Today is just about me celebrating myself and it’s pretty freaking awesome
Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes!
It feels like it’s been absolutely forever since I’ve posted anything and I guess it kind of has! I’m not even sure how to catch things up…
In the last month I’ve started dating, got two new tattoos, attended my first “con”, got all the divorce paperwork filed (finally!), planned a trip to my sister’s in Cali for the holidays and one to visit a friend in the bay area next month, planned my first shindig at my house, filled the wood shed, filled the freezer with lamb from a friend, started playing WoW (occasionally)… I guess that’s the gist of it. It’s been busy and fun. I’m feeling really settled in, in a good way. I’m getting used to doing everything for myself and kind of enjoying the satisfaction of it. I’m slowly getting all the random little projects around the house taken care of. I’m still seeing a therapist working through post marriage stuff and we are working through some of the “hard” stuff which makes me happy. I am doing loads of introspection and feel so much more balanced than I have in a long time. I didn’t entirely realize how much a toxic relationship can drag you down. I mean it totally makes sense, but I didn’t even realize how toxic it had gotten since clearly I didn’t actually know what was going on. I occasionally think about Mars and the girls and miss them, but there’s little I can do about that. I don’t find myself feeling lonely or sad, and even the anger has subsided. I occasionally feel like I’m not taking *enough* time for myself and my introverted need to recharge Filling my calendar and being social was something I thought I was going to have to work at since I’m not naturally really outgoing, but between good, thoughful friends and just making “yes” my default answer I’m keeping quite busy. I’m even venturing out and doing stuff by myself which I think is good for me on many levels. The more I do the more excited I get to go out and do more things in general. I’m still trying to figure out when and where to travel in the near term. I’m thinking probably in the Feb time frame, but I haven’t decided where I want to go and if I want to go alone or with someone. I’m all kinds of symbolic so I’m really tempted to go back to Paris and “reclaim” the experience since it was part of my honeymoon. I’d like to rewrite those memories with something of my own, and besides… Paris is just awesome! I’ve got all the time in the world to figure it out though. Tonight I’m out to dinner with a girlfriend and then home to try to get the house picked up. Tomorrow I have therapy after work and yet more tidying up. Thursday a friend arrives in town to stay through the weekend and Saturday I’m hosting a Pumpkin Party!
This is my new favorite tattoo It has many meanings to me, but right now I chose to believe it represents the infinite possibilities ahead of me.
The time in Maui was great but felt WAY TOO SHORT! I caught a connecting flight from Portland so I was on the same flight as Mom, Dad, and Cindy which was convenient and better than flying alone. We arrived on Sunday, got the rental car and headed to the condo in Kihei. Mom, Cindy and I ran across the street to see the “beach” which was, indeed, a beach but full of seaweed. We got our feet sandy and wet at least. Then we headed out to the grocery store to stock the fridge for meals. I got to cook most of the time I was there which I enjoyed.
We did some shopping in Wailea so I could pick up a Tiffany charm for my collection but I ended up buying two since there is a limited edition one they only have in the Hawaii stores. I couldn’t resist! We spent some time on the beach there where the water was nicer. We seemed to keep pretty busy most of the time. I did get some reading and I managed to get some color. We drove around the “up country” Kula area and visited the Surfing Goat Dairy for a tour, tasting, and lunch. We visited Alii Kula Lavender farm although the drizzle and cool didn’t have us too motivated to wander the fields. We tried to hit up Tedeschi Vineyards in Ulupalakua, but it was labory day and they happened to be closed. I found their pineapple wine at the local ABC Store later so I got to try it anyway. It wasn’t as sweet as I was expecting. I rather liked it honestly.
We did the road to Hana later in the week and were daring *gasp* and went the whole way round Haleakala. The south side of the crater was really unlike anything I’ve ever seen in Hawaii. The contrast was stunning.
My trip home was unfortunately far more eventful than I would have preferred. I left on Saturday late morning intending to get back to Seattle Saturday evening so I could have Sunday to unpack, do laundry and get settled before starting back to work. My flight out was the same as coming in with a connecting flight in Portland. Everything was fine getting on my flight from Maui to Portland, but about 2.5 hours (about half way) in to the flight they turned the plane around. They said there was a fuel warning light on and FAA regulations say they have to do an emergency landing because they were over the ocean. They were heading back to Honolulu, the nearest airport. They were confident the issue was not actually a problem, but the rules are the rules. We landed in Honolulu around the time we should have been landing in Portland. With time changes and such this meant there would be no way for me to make my connecting Portland to Seattle flight, I was booked on the last one of the evening to begin with. The flight was grounded for about an hour and a half and then it took off again. While we were grounded I talked to a service agent about switching to a non-stop from Honolulu to Seattle so I could still get home. The flights were quite full but they got me on one that was to leave at 9:30pm (it was around 4pm at the time). I would get in to Seattle at 6:30am. I killed 5 hours in the Honolulu airport and got ready to board the new flight, but when I went to board the agent pointed out that my ticket was for Sunday, not Saturday. She sent me back to the counter to sort it out. This is where things get really messy. Neither she nor the other agent knew how to rebook my ticket once they had determined there were still seats on the flight. They started to get frazzled because they didn’t want to hold up the flight so they went ahead and sent it off with out me because they couldn’t figure out how to do the paperwork. I was quite upset at this point (and getting tired). After the flight was off they called over a senior agent to assist me and he was disappointed that they hadn’t put me on the flight. He found me a first class seat on a flight to Bellingham with a connection to Seattle. It left in another hour and would have me in to Seattle at 11am. I really had no more options so I boarded a flight around 10:30pm for Bellingham. I got a few hours of restless sleep on the plane, caught the connecting flight and got in to Seattle as expected. At this point I’ve been mostly awake for 24 hours. I was tired, cranky, stiff and just wanted desperately to be home. I was very thankful that my bag made it through to Seattle ahead of me so I was able to collect it at the airport before heading to pick up Jupiter and then home.
It’s been a crazy busy month!
Last week I was off work for Mom and Dad’s summer visit and a big ol’ list of chores. The weather was gorgeous but it was a little hard to appreciate it when we were outside sweating the whole time. We did get *a lot* done though:
- Removed dog house built in to tack room
- Put up shelves and rearranged tack room (much more spacious and organized now!)
- Replaced master bedroom curtain rod, patched walls/ceiling and applied touch up paint
- Assembled new lawn tractor trailer
- Demo’d 16′x8′x8′ goat shed at old house
- Built a 2.5 cord wood shed (8′x10′x6′) at new house
- Cut, split, moved, and stacked about a cord of wood
- Semi-annual barn cleaning
- Built compost bin
- Delivered a load of compost to David
- Cleaned out hayloft (including a big pile of housing shingles)
- Rearranged/cleaned up storage behind the barn
- Had ~1 ton of alfalfa delivered
- Replaced lawn tractor blades and mowed the lawn
- Weed whacked the drainage ditch, around the deck, the garden, and the fence line
- Trimmed goat hooves
- Dried a batch of plums
- Tested the generator
Also in there was the usual cooking and tidying up bits too. I’m really proud of how much we got done over the week. The wood shed is a HUGE win. The wood early this year was behind the barn partially protected by tarps which made it occasionally wet and a little tedious to retrieve. The new wood shed is just steps from the back door so I don’t need to haul wood up to the back door/patio and worry about the bugs damaging the house, PLUS it holds much more than could be easily stored behind the barn.
I still need to tend to a few more things like getting the chimney swept and ordering more wood. If I rearrange the hayloft a bit I can probably get another half ton up there which I may try to do since the paddock gets muddy in the winter making for difficulties in getting hay delivered.
Now I’m back at work for a week before taking off this weekend for Maui (with Mom, Dad, and my Aunt Cindy). Chris (Thank you, thank you, thank you!) is checking on the animals for me, and Jupiter is going to stay at his Aunt Dawna’s so I’m relieved of all my obligations/worries. I have no plans other than getting a tan. It should be a very relaxing trip!
I (still) need to plan some international travel in the next while. I signed up for a mileage credit card so I have even more flier miles than before! If only I could decide on where I want to go!
The girls are out visiting and they spent some time over at my place yesterday. It turns out the jacuzzi tub is a big hit, even for young ladies that like to get dirty and don’t care for a bath or shower. E actually took two bathes yesterday and was trying to negotiate her way in to a third.
On our way to the house we stopped two doors down to admire some rental goats that were clearing brush only to discover that one of the little ones had slipped under the fence and was happily muching on the blackberries nearby. The girls were thrilled to get to pet the adorable little la mancha baby and after an attempt to slip it back under the fence which simply resulted in it coming right back out again, E wandered around following the baby goat to keep an eye on it while C and I went off to figure out who they belonged to. Fortunately it was the neighbor right there and she was home, although I’m sure the girls would have had no issues babysitting a goat for the afternoon if they hadn’t been. So after plenty of goat snuggles we said good bye to the baby goats. E went out to check later with her Dad to see if they had escaped again. I think she was hoping they had. She tried to convince me that it could sit in her lap in the car. We talked about getting Obie pregnant this fall and the girls decided they wanted her to have three babies. I think the theory was the more the merrier.
The girls took bathes and played scrabble for awhile and eventually my (ex)husband came over also. C and I convinced him to put the riding mower back together (he had started changing the blades for me but got frustrated with some rusted bolts). After a quick 5 minute intro lesson C was off and mowing. E was so excited to try she was very concerned C would mow the whole yard (about 3/4 an acre). Eventually C tired a bit and my (ex)husband took E out on the mower. She can’t reach the peddles yet but she certainly could steer. After E tired C took out the mower again tackling some of the really tall grasses. I was really impressed at how well C picked up the mechanics of the whole thing including when to mow, when not to mow and how to get the mower unstuck when the tires would spin. I’ve doubted how necessary the seat cut off switch was on the mower but it worked great for C insuring that she could make the mower die by just standing up.
And apparently it’s girls that like hay lofts. Both E and C loved sitting up in the hay loft where they could watch the animals and survey everything else going on. E was getting a kick out of sprinkling scratch on the chickens from up high. They also got some quality time on the swing in the apple tree after my (ex)husabnd raised the seat up. I’m glad the front pasture is recovering so well because it really does make a great expanse of yard for the girls to run around in. E tried to convince us that we should sleep in a tent in the yard at one point.
It seemed like summer was coming on full tilt and then it went away again. It’s been raining on and off which isn’t too bad, it means I don’t have to worry about watering the garden or the animals Letting mother nature do my chores always rules.
I did finally get around to planting the garden. I think I mentioned that already. The garden space is pretty big and daunting so I finally stopped fretting about doing it “right” and just did something. Normally I’d document all my gardening over on the farm website, but it’s not like I’m doing much more than gardening for my self at this point.
So I have peas, beans (white and green), butternut squash, pumpkins, cucumbers, tomatoes, peppers, and eggplants growing in the garden. So far they are all doing well. My blueberries are putting on fruit as well. It’s not a *ton* but for being scraggly little things it’s not bad and it still makes a nice snack when outside doing chores. I also have chives, lavender, and a bay laurel growing in pots on the patio.
The blackberries still haven’t come in yet. The salmonberries and thimbleberries are just hitting their peak, but it’s the blackberries I’m waiting for. I’d like to do some canning and maybe try making some wine.
I don’t know if I mentioned, but I’m going to try my hand at some goat milk soap making. I got a starter kit a couple weeks ago and I have some frozen goats milk that’s been frozen too long for decent cheese making. I’m pretty excited to try it all out. A girlfriend has offered to help me work through the details for the first batch but I need to stop jetting off on the weekends and schedule some time. I’m keep joking about building my little cottage industry and things like soap don’t carry nearly the regulation and drama that cheese would.
I had meant to start writing this while actually on vacation instead of waiting until afterward since it seems like it becomes a list of things done. We’ll see how well I can recreate my original thoughts…
Wednesday morning was a mad dash to get everything cleaned up and taken care of before catching the afternoon flight out east. I had left everything, laundry included, until Wednesday morning which took a lot of stress off me during the two days I was at work, but I ended up running short on time. Thank goodness for large suitcases! I threw random items in to my suitcase confident I covered 90% of my needs and assuming I could pick up anything I had missed. The flight out was pretty uneventful and seemed to pass pretty quickly between games on my iPad and audiobooks on my phone. The flight got in to Newark a little early which was nice.
I’ve never flown in to Newark, typically opting for JFK, but the tickets were cheap enough it off set the additional cab fare. New Jersey was, well, all those stereotypes? They seemed to be true from my limited exposure. All the industrial areas around the airport smelled bad but it was so warm and muggy that I left my window open anyway. I watched a cop parked in the “white zone” at the airport trying to pick up on some girls while heading out to the taxi stand. Arrived at the hotel sometime after midnight and checked in. I’ve stayed at the Warwick on all my trips to Manhattan. I’m sure some folks would rather have something that is the new hotness but I love the classic nature of it and the location is pretty damn awesome. I wasn’t sure what to think when the desk informed me the room was on the top floor, the 33rd. It turns out only two of the four elevators go above the 29th floor. When we arrived at the floor it was TINY, in a good way. There is only one room, our’s, the Warwick Suite, and a small conference room. That’s it! There was absolutely no street noise, no elevator noise, no ice machine, and very little sound from the suite next door. The room was pretty spacious and included a livingroom area and the bedroom. Much more like a small studio. It clearly had a kitchenette at one point but they don’t advertise it. All the cupboards were empty but I was happy to have the small dorm fridge since folks are finicky about the honor bar fridges anymore. Despite the time change in our favor we crashed out in the wee hours of the morning.
Thursday was the usual wandering around town hitting up familiar places. A late brunch was had at Fred’s in Barney’s. I 
was a little caught off guard by the weekday lunch crowd and the ladies that lunch. It was very busy! After that I wandered past Tiffany and picked up a Fifth Ave charm for my collection. Eventually we ended up at Knave enjoying cocktails and some light fare. After eating little more than lobster bisque and raw tuna for lunch it went straight to my head. I hadn’t spent much time in Central Park so we ended up wandering around the entrance watching the stars and the people. Eventually a raccoon came bursting out of the brush and trekking across the trail towards one of the ponds. It startled me so much I squealed and pulled up my feet before laughing at myself. On the way home true New York pizza by the slice was acquired and happily eaten before crawling in to bed.
Friday ended up wandering around Central Park. We stumbled across, what I now realize was the old location of Tavern on the Green, where we were happy to discover the food trucks. We had a variety of dumplings from Rickshaw Dumplings while watching some poor girl try her hand at starring in a fluff piece on food trucks. By the 20 or 30th take of her intro we were ready to grab some ice cream and head out. We decided on a generous cup of palm sugar flavored ice cream from Van Leeuwen and wandered off in the heat. For dinner we gave a LocalEats.com recommendation a chance and hit up Benoit for some small plates and wine. I was thrilled to get to try the Veal tongue Lucullus (a pressed veal tongue with thin layers of foie gras) and Crispy pied de cochon (fried cakes of chopped pig’s feet) in particular, but everything was very tasty. The bartender/waiter was jovial and quirky and the atmosphere very reminiscent of Paris although a little more spacious. The only sad part of the experience is that it’s on a side street and therefore doesn’t offer good people watching on the street front as is typical in Paris. Randolph’s at the Warwick is still my favorite place for a glass of wine and people watching. Later in the evening I was peckish again and happily waited in the growing lines for a platter from The Halal Guys.
Saturday my travel companion wasn’t feeling well and ended up being a bit of a down day. Eventually we ventured out to do some shopping at Sak’s where I took in most of my haul (like usual). On the way back to the hotel laden with shopping bags we cut across 51st street to get back to 6th Ave and saw the lines starting to queue for a new Cirque du Soleil show at Radio City Music Hall. I peered in to dressing room windows and could even see a backstage short circuit camera view of the stage on a mounted TV screen. I made a few jokes about sitting on the side walk to watch the show for free, but once pushed a little my companion agreed to see if the show was sold out. After wandering the crowds a bit we found the box office and the show was no where near sold out and it started in about 15 minutes. We grabbed two tickets to Zarkana and ended up in really good seats just 10 minutes before the show started. Counting through the program I believe this was my 7th or maybe 8th Cirque show. I just never grow tired of them.
Sunday was my last day and the heat was really driving me crazy. It’s probably not so bad when you have reason to be in air conditioning most of the time but instead I was out walking the streets regularly. It was no fun to go out and feel like you needed a shower 20 minutes after you had just taken one. We got a later check out to draw out our time in the room before checking out and stowing our bags. To kill the few hours until we needed to head to the airport we did a little geocaching in Central Park and hit up the Camper store where I had been eyeing some new shoes. We took the long way back walking through FAO Schwartz and had a light lunch from a vendor near the corner of the park. The ride to the airport and flight home were pretty uneventful. I was feeling ready to get back to cooler weather, but as usual I didn’t get to see half the things I wanted to see. I guess it just gives me an excuse for more visits
It’s definitely feeling like summer now around these parts. Time is just flying by.
Over the last several weeks I’ve been working hard to get tons of stuff done around the house/farm and elsewhere. For the fourth of July weekend I weeded and mulched all the flower beds and built a campfire circle in the backyard and also got some time to enjoy it. The fourth was spent in the backyard playing scrabble on the iPad while cooking over the campfire and watching the nearby fireworks. The up/down side of the country. There were LOTS of fireworks. I also got the garden cleaned up and planted with some help. I now have beans, peas, squash, cucumbers, peppers, tomatoes, and eggplants growing. It was a bit late in the season, but I think it will still be a decent yield. I’ve never had so much space for gardening!
This past weekend was the Alison Krauss and Union Station concert at Marymoor which was great fun. The weekend was supposed to be more chores but with some changes of plans it freed up a bit. My date to a chinese cooking class wasn’t feeling well and I opted not to go alone. So instead the smoker was loaded up with happy pig ribs, salmon, trout, and a few tomatoes to smoke all day. The ribs were dry 
rubbed and turned out really, really good. I have to say my old “quick ribs” doesn’t even come close. I’ve always done them in the oven for an hour and then over the grill.
I’m only in the office for two days this week and then it’s off to Manhattan for the rest of the week and weekend! I will never tire of staying at the Warwick and all the amazing history. I can’t wait to visit Chelsea Market, Knave, The Modern, and of course Central Park and the shopping!
In the coming weeks there are social events and more concerts than I can shake a stick at. In August my parents will be visiting and my mom is working on me to go to Maui in early September.